What To Do If Your Relationships Never Work?

Nothing is more frustrating than being in a relationship, and realizing that your partner seems to be on a very different page from you. So, what should you do if you think your relationships never work?

This blog post will also apply to you if you have experienced a failed attempt to change your partner, jobs, and city, only to find out that the problem still follows wherever you go because, truly, the problem is inside of you.

Know that whatever you change in your external world won't solve your problem. The situation will only change when you address its root cause, which is inside yourself.

Why dissonance shows up in relationships?

Every intimate relationship reflects back to us what is happening inside of us. Intimate relationships are the perfect mirror for us to get know ourselves better. Without our relationships, we can't even define ourselves properly. We always define our identity in relation to something or to someone.

So, it is important to realize that, at some level, your partner's dissonance could be reflecting a dissonance that exist within yourself, in the first place. It gets manifested outwards in your partner, so you can see before your eyes what is happening inside of you.

Nothing, absolutely nothing shows up in your external reality, that is inactive or inexistent in your inner reality. This is law. Through the law of resonance, nothing can show up in your external reality that isn't following some aspect of your inner reality.

What Do You Do About This Dissonance?

So instead of working on your partner and in your relationship, I would suggest to first work on yourself. Ask yourself what part of you is creating this dissonance in your relationship.

So, as an example, let's suppose you have a pattern of beliefs and behavior that makes your partner distant as time goes by. It won't matter much if you change partners, because this pattern of thoughts, energy and behaviors is inside of you. No matter who your partner is, if you don't fix the inner root cause, whatever partner you may have will always eventually behave this way. And it is down to the fact that you are creating this pattern inside yourself.

How To Identify Patterns Of Beliefs Creating Disconnection In Your Relationship

Now, how can you know which internal patterns of beliefs and behaviors are creating this unwanted external situation, in which you experience disharmony in your relationships? You need to go within; there is no other way to do it.

It might come from childhood trauma. It might also come from an unreasonable fear about something that happened at the beginning of the relationship. Furthermore, it could be a repeated pattern that started with your break up with your first partner.

It can be extremely fulfilling to go on this self-discovery journey and find out the root cause for your irrational fears, beliefs, and behaviors. What's not to like in this self-discovery journey?

Of course, sometimes it can cause some discomfort. But it's either a personal growth mindset or repetition of old patterns and cycles. Which one will you choose?


If you want to dig further in the step-by-step process to work on your inner-perception about yourself to improve your relationships, I dive deeper into this subject in this presentation of The Holistic Mindset method. Here I share with you a unique mindset method that combines mental, emotional, spiritual and biological intelligence, so you can live up to your full potential in all areas of your life.

Click here to watch the full presentation on how to upgrade your mindset

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